See the patterns. Break the cycle.
reFrame™ detects toxic communication patterns in what someone said to you AND in what you're about to say back. It names them, explains them, and helps you break the cycle — because your words today shape how your children will communicate in 2050.
Free to try. No signup required. Your messages are never stored.
I destroyed my marriage with patterns I didn't know had names. Contempt. Criticism. Defensiveness. Stonewalling. I used all four consistently and when they're used it tandem, they're deadly to any relationship. But it wasn't just how I talked, it was how I lived. The priorities I chose. The damage I ignored. The people I hurt with the conscious choices I made regardless of who and how it impacted them.
My wife built the courage to leave me. Filed for divorce…and it was the best thing that ever happened to me - because for the first time, someone held a mirror to my face and I actually looked.
What came next wasn't quick and it wasn't clean. Therapy, yes. But also thousands of hours of work outside that room, self-education, journaling about my day until I could finally see myself in it honestly. Hard conversations I didn't want to have and realities I've never faced before. Tears I didn't know I had in me. I had reached a place I've never seen before…rock bottom. Years of tearing down who I was in order to rebuild from the foundation up.
We ultimately remarried. Not because time healed anything, but because the work changed who I was and how I showed up.
I built reFrame so nobody else has to lose everything before they learn what I learned. The patterns aren't just in your words — they're in your habits, your reactions, the things you do on autopilot that hurt the people closest to you. If you can name them, you can change them.
I'm the chainbreaker in my family. The generational cycle stops with me.
— Neal, Founder
Read the full story →More than a message tool
Every feature exists on a path toward your independence.
Paste the message that’s been sitting in your chest for hours. See what’s really there — in what they said to you, and in what you’re about to say back.
Practice between real conversations. Spot the pattern before it leaves your mouth. Rehearse the hard talk before it happens.
One day you’ll rewrite the message yourself — without pasting it here first. The Mirror shows you how far you’ve come and what’s left to work on.
Over time, you won't need us. That's the point.
reFrame is not a grammar tool. It's not a tone rewriter. It's not another app that polishes your words and sends you on your way.
It's a mirror. It shows you the patterns you can't see — in what you receive and in what you send — names them, and offers you a different path. Then it lets you choose.
No one taught you how to communicate. That's not your fault. Here's what healthy looks like.
When someone types something that isn't about a relationship pattern anymore — reFrame™ stops everything. No analysis. No reframe. Just the right resources, instantly.
Every user. Free. No signup required. Because safety should never be behind a paywall — or a loading screen.
reFrame™ is a communication tool first. But when someone is in danger, communication can wait. Safety can't.
One is a pattern happening TO you. The other is a pattern you might not see yet. reFrame™ catches both — because the pattern is the problem, not the person.
See what reFrame™ detects →20+ toxic patterns — contempt, gaslighting, stonewalling, manipulation — hiding in the messages you send and receive every day. reFrame™ catches them in seconds. Most people can't name one. You'll see all of them.
Curious what's hiding in your messages?
Analyze a Message Free →Detects gaslighting, contempt, stonewalling, DARVO, blame-shifting, and 20+ toxic patterns. Names them. Explains them. Validates your experience.
Catches patterns you don't realize you have. Rewrites your message to say what you mean — with dignity, not aggression.
Most tools only check what you write. reFrame™ is the first to detect patterns in what you receive — because understanding what's happening to you is the first step to breaking the cycle.
Not every message is a red flag. When someone communicates with genuine accountability, empathy, or a willingness to repair — reFrame™ highlights it.
Abuse and toxic relationships can break your “normal meter.” reFrame™ helps you recalibrate — not just by catching manipulation, but by showing you what healthy communication actually looks like.
Every reframed message is built on three principles — the same principles that 40 years of relationship research say predict whether a conversation heals or destroys.
Am I reacting or responding right now? Every message you regret started because the feeling moved faster than the thought. This is the pause you wish you’d taken.
Can I say this without making them smaller? Your point might be valid. But if the delivery destroys the person hearing it, you lost the conversation before it started.
Will we be able to come back from this? Some messages end arguments. Some end relationships. This is the question that tells you which one you’re about to send.
Your clients make breakthroughs in session. Then they pick up their phone at 11 PM and react. reFrame™ lives in that gap — catching patterns in real-time, reinforcing the skills you're teaching, and building self-awareness through repetition.
Built on Gottman's Four Horsemen, attachment theory, and principles from DBT and Nonviolent Communication. Free for your clients. No account required.
Talk to us about reFrame™ for your practice →Whether you're writing it or reading it — see what's really there before it's too late.
Try reFrame™ FreeFree. No signup. No data stored.