You're asking the right question.
Most tools tell you you're right. We won't. We'll show you what's actually in the conversation, what's yours, and what to do next.
Why it's hard to see your own role
You're inside the situation. You can replay the fight fifty times and still miss the moment you crossed a line, because the version playing in your head is the one that proves you right. That's not a flaw in you. That's how memory works under pressure. Pattern detection from outside the story sees what you can't.
Truth-first, not validation-first
Most "am I wrong" forums are popularity contests. People vote based on which side of the story they read first, who wrote it better, who reminds them of someone they already hated. reFrame doesn't take sides. It looks at the patterns in the actual words and tells you what's there, even when what's there is yours.
How it works in plain language
You paste the conversation. We read it for the communication patterns researchers have spent decades documenting in real conflict: contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, gaslighting, and more. We tell you what's there, what's yours, how to think about it differently, and one specific move you can make next. Your messages are never stored. Ever.
What you'll get
What We Found
The patterns in the conversation, named. Not opinions about who's right. The specific things that showed up in the actual words on both sides.
Your Part in This
Where you contributed, even if it wasn't the bigger thing. We're not grading you. We're showing you the parts that are yours to work with.
The reFrame
How to think about what happened in a way that gives you somewhere to go. Not a script. A perspective shift you can actually use.
Your First Move
One specific thing to do next. Small. Concrete. Yours.
This is illustrative output rendered from a fictional scenario, not advice. reFrame is informed by Gottman research and is not a substitute for legal or therapeutic advice. If you or someone you know is in crisis, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7.