Frequently Asked Questions
Everything you need to know about reFrame™
About the Product
What is reFrame™?
reFrame™ is an AI-powered communication coach that helps you transform emotionally charged messages into dignity-first communication. Type your raw, honest thoughts, and reFrame™ provides a healthier version that preserves your feelings while building connection instead of conflict.
reFrame™ now includes RFD (Red Flag Detection) technology that analyzes your message for toxic patterns before reframing, helping you learn what to avoid in future communications.
How does it work?
Simply type the message you want to send (or wish you hadn't sent) into reFrame™. Here's what happens:
1. RFD Analysis: Your message is first analyzed for harmful patterns like criticism, contempt, gaslighting, or manipulation.
2. Warning (if needed): If toxic patterns are found, you'll see an educational explanation of why they're harmful.
3. Your Choice: You can edit your message or proceed to reframing.
4. R³™ Reframe: Our AI provides a version that keeps your authentic feelings but expresses them through REGULATED, RESPECTFUL, REPAIRABLE communication.
You can then copy the reframed message and use it in your actual conversation.
Is my data private?
Yes. We take privacy seriously. Your messages are processed to provide RFD analysis and the reframe, but we don't store your personal conversations long-term. We may retain anonymized, aggregated data (like “15% of messages contained criticism patterns”) but never individual messages tied to you. See our Privacy Policy for full details.
How much does it cost?
reFrame™ is currently free to use while we're in beta. We're gathering feedback to make the product as helpful as possible. In the future, we'll offer both free and premium tiers.
Can I use it on my phone?
Yes! The web version works on any device with a browser. We're also building dedicated mobile apps for iOS and Android that will launch in 2026.
🚩 About RFD Technology
What is RFD?
RFD (Red Flag Detection) is our proprietary AI-powered system that identifies toxic communication patterns in your message before you send it. It's built on 40+ years of Gottman Institute research on what predicts relationship failure.
What patterns does RFD detect?
RFD looks for seven major toxic patterns:
- Criticism: Attacking character instead of addressing behavior
- Contempt: Disrespect, mockery, superiority (most destructive)
- Defensiveness: Playing victim, making excuses, counter-attacking
- Stonewalling: Withdrawal, silent treatment, shutting down
- Gaslighting: Denying reality, questioning someone's sanity
- Manipulation: Guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, conditional love
- Threats: Ultimatums, abandonment threats, controlling behavior
How accurate is RFD?
RFD is based on patterns that predict relationship failure with 90%+ accuracy (according to Gottman Institute research). Our AI detection is constantly improving, currently operating at 85-90% accuracy based on user feedback. It's not perfect, but it catches most harmful patterns effectively.
What happens if RFD detects something in my message?
You'll see a warning modal that shows:
- Which pattern(s) were detected
- The severity level (low, medium, or high)
- An explanation of why the pattern is harmful
- A suggestion for a healthier approach
You then choose to either edit your message or continue to reframing. Either way, you're learning what to avoid.
Does RFD work both ways?
Yes! RFD now offers Two-Way RFD (Patent Pending) Protection.
Inbound Protection: When you paste context (what they said to you), RFD analyzes THEIR message for toxic patterns like gaslighting, manipulation, stonewalling. If detected, you'll see a warning that validates your perception and suggests healthy boundary-setting responses.
Outbound Protection: RFD also analyzes YOUR message before you send it, catching patterns like contempt, criticism, defensiveness.
Why this matters: People in toxic relationships often can't see manipulation clearly. Gaslighting victims doubt their own reality. RFD provides real-time validation: “You're not crazy. This IS gaslighting.”
What if RFD detects patterns in what THEY said to me?
This is our most powerful feature. When RFD detects toxic patterns in the context you provide, you'll see:
- Pattern identification: “GASLIGHTING detected in their message”
- Educational explanation: Why these patterns are harmful to YOU
- Validation: “Your perception is valid. These patterns are real. Trust yourself.”
- Response suggestion: How to set boundaries without engaging with toxicity
If you proceed to reframe, the system helps you craft a response that protects your dignity and sets clear boundaries.
Will RFD tell me if someone is abusing me?
Important clarification: RFD detects communication patterns, not diagnoses abuse or labels people.
What RFD DOES: Identifies specific patterns, explains why patterns are harmful, validates your perception if toxic patterns are present, suggests healthy responses and boundaries.
What RFD DOESN'T do: Diagnose mental health conditions, label someone as “an abuser,” tell you to leave the relationship, or replace professional help.
Think of RFD as pattern recognition, not diagnosis. You maintain full autonomy to decide what to do with the information.
What happens if RFD detects patterns in BOTH messages?
If toxic patterns are detected in both their message (context) and your draft response, RFD shows the INBOUND alert first because your safety and validation are the priority.
After you see that their behavior is manipulative/toxic, if you click “Continue to reFrame™” and your response STILL contains harmful patterns, you'll see a second alert about your outbound message.
Why this order matters: It's important for you to understand you're responding to toxicity BEFORE being told your response is also toxic. Context matters.
Can I turn off RFD?
Not currently—RFD is a core part of the learning experience. However, you always have the choice to proceed to reframing after seeing a warning. Think of it like a seatbelt warning in a car: it alerts you, but you maintain control.
Is RFD judging me?
No! RFD doesn't judge you as a person—it identifies communication patterns. We all use these patterns sometimes, especially when hurt or angry. RFD is there to help you notice them and learn healthier alternatives. It's education, not judgment.
What if RFD flags something that isn’t actually harmful?
RFD aims for high accuracy, but false positives can happen. If you believe a warning was incorrect, you can proceed to reframing. We're continuously improving detection based on feedback. If you notice consistent false positives, please let us know at info@wereframe.com.
Does RFD diagnose abuse or mental health issues?
No. RFD identifies communication patterns, not mental health conditions or abuse. If you're experiencing abuse, manipulation, or safety concerns, please contact appropriate authorities or crisis resources. RFD is educational—it's not a diagnostic tool or substitute for professional help.
About the R³ Framework™
What does R³™ stand for?
R³™ stands for REGULATED, RESPECTFUL, REPAIRABLE—the three pillars of dignity-first communication:
- REGULATED: Pause before reacting. Strong emotions are signals, not commands.
- RESPECTFUL: Protect dignity even in disagreement. Separate person from position.
- REPAIRABLE: Mistakes don't end relationships. Apologize, own impact, reconnect.
Learn more on our R³ Framework™ page.
How is this different from other communication tools?
Most tools check grammar or tone. reFrame™ teaches relationship psychology through both positive modeling (R³™) and pattern detection (RFD). We're not just making you sound nicer—we're teaching you to communicate in ways that strengthen relationships across generations. The R³ Framework™ is backed by decades of research on conflict resolution, psychological safety, and observational learning.
Do I need to understand R³™ to use reFrame™?
Not at all! You can use reFrame™ without knowing anything about R³™. Just type your message and get a better version. RFD will teach you what to avoid, and R³™ will show you what to do instead. Over time, you'll naturally start noticing the patterns and internalizing the framework. Think of it as training wheels—you benefit immediately, and the learning happens organically.
How do R³™ and RFD work together?
RFD teaches what to avoid (criticism, contempt, etc.)
R³™ teaches what to do instead (regulated, respectful, repairable communication)
Together, they create a complete learning system: identify harmful patterns, then replace them with healthy ones.
About Usage
When should I use reFrame™?
Use reFrame™ whenever you're about to send a message from heightened emotion—hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment. Perfect situations include:
- Disagreements with your partner
- Difficult conversations with family
- Workplace conflicts
- Setting boundaries
- Responding to criticism
- Any time you think “I want to say something but I don't know how”
Can I use this for work emails?
Absolutely! reFrame™ works for professional communication too. Many users find it helpful for giving feedback, addressing conflicts with colleagues, or navigating difficult conversations with managers or clients. RFD is particularly valuable at work—catching contempt or threats before you send them to your boss could save your career.
What if I disagree with the reframe?
That's totally fine! reFrame™ is a suggestion, not a prescription. Use it as a starting point. You might take parts of it, rewrite sections, or use it to spark your own ideas. The goal is to help you express yourself better, not to put words in your mouth.
Will this make me sound fake?
No. reFrame™ preserves your authentic feelings—it just helps you express them constructively. You're not pretending to feel differently; you're learning to express what you actually feel in a way that the other person can hear. That's not fake. That's skilled communication.
How often should I use it?
As often as you need! Some people use it daily, others weekly. Over time, you'll likely need it less as the R³™ patterns become natural to you and you learn to avoid RFD triggers. That's the goal—we want you to outgrow the tool.
What should I do if RFD keeps flagging my messages?
First, recognize that this is valuable feedback! If RFD consistently finds patterns in your communication, that's an opportunity to learn. Pay attention to which patterns appear most often—that's where you can focus your growth. Over time, you should see fewer warnings as you internalize healthier communication habits.
If patterns persist despite effort, consider working with a therapist or communication coach. RFD can identify issues, but professional support helps address their roots.
About the Philosophy
What’s the science behind this?
The R³ Framework™ and RFD are built on decades of research:
- Gottman Institute (40+ years): RFD patterns predict relationship failure with 90%+ accuracy
- Conflict Resolution (NIH): Avoiding conflict harms relationships more than addressing it constructively
- Psychological Safety (Harvard): Teams with high psychological safety show better performance
- Observational Learning (Bandura): Children learn behaviors by watching parents model them
- Repair Research (Gottman): Successful relationships are repair-rich, not conflict-free
Why "generational cycles"?
Children don't inherit beliefs—they inherit nervous systems. When they watch how parents handle conflict during the first 10 years of life, those patterns become their blueprint. By modeling R³™ communication and avoiding RFD patterns, you're teaching the next generation how to navigate disagreement healthily. That's how cycles break.
Is this just therapy?
No, reFrame™ is not therapy and doesn't replace professional mental health support. Think of it as a communication coach—we help you express yourself better in specific moments through R³™ and teach you patterns to avoid through RFD. Therapy addresses deeper patterns, trauma, and mental health. Both can be valuable, and they complement each other.
Technical Questions
What AI does this use?
reFrame™ is powered by Claude Sonnet 4, developed by Anthropic. We've specifically trained our prompts around the R³ Framework™ to ensure every reframe embodies REGULATED, RESPECTFUL, REPAIRABLE communication, and around RFD to accurately detect toxic patterns.
Can I save my conversations?
Currently, messages are not saved automatically (to protect your privacy). We're building features to let users optionally save their reframes and track their progress over time, including RFD pattern reduction. This will be opt-in—you'll always control your data.
Is there a limit to how much I can use it?
While we're in beta, reFrame™ is free with no usage limits. When we launch paid tiers, there will be a free version with reasonable limits and a premium version with unlimited use and advanced RFD insights.
Does RFD work in languages other than English?
Currently, RFD is optimized for English. We're working on multi-language support for 2026. Toxic patterns exist across cultures, but they may manifest differently, so we're taking time to ensure accuracy.